Remembering and reflecting

It's been so long since I post but my oldest has started school and I'm hoping to have time now. Summer went by so quick and now we find ourselves on the 10th anniversary of that awful day.
Ten years ago this moment I was sitting at my job trying to get in touch with my best friend. My best friend who I had walked thru the doors of kindergarten some 20 plus years before. No phone lines were working. She wasn't answering. Her parents hadn't heard from her. Time dragged by. Finally I was able to find out she was okay. She was walking from manhattan to Brooklyn even though she lived in NJ.
I had just found out days before that after finally getting pregnant after fertility treatment, the baby I was carrying, lost it's heartbeat. That night while fighter jets flew overhead and the smoke came thru put windows from across the bay It also dawned on me, we will be going to war. And my husband would be deployed.
10 years have passed since that beautiful September morning.

And I will never forget.....




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Trying to get a summer rhythm.

Summer is in full swing yet I haven't found a routine yet. We were away last week and it has left me exhausted. We are heading to the beach this Morning because that's how our summers usually go and I'm trying my best to get into it.
We went to Lancaster PA. It was a great time. Here are some photos til my next post.

















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Detoxing...sighhhhh

Tuesday I started a little detox diet. No bread. No Sugar. No bread. Been drinking a ton of smoothies. Doing well but sometimes, Im hungry!!!
We have been so busy with just little stuff yet I feel like I have nothing to write about lately. New patio. End of school and all the loose ends that go with that. Parties.
What has been keeping you busy?

Catching up

Beginning of summer feels so busy this year. My kids aren't even in real school yet. Promise to post soon, if not tonight with my summer to-do list!

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Am I alone??

My oldest starts kindergarten in September. To say I have mixed emotions is a understatement. I love his zest for learning. I want him to grow. I want him to make all kinds of friends. But I have to say, the thought of me not being with him every minute is breaking my heart. I have always had homeschooling in the back of my mind. But I know me, I know it isn't a possibility. I believe now that I have ADHD and I know I am not structured enough to do it. Beside the fact that my husband is 100% against it.

So many parents I talk to say they can't wait for their kids to start school. Am I too attached? Will this get better, easier?

I will miss our days at the beach, mornings in the woods. I will miss this

Things I love Thursday!

Focusing on the positive!

What I am loving this week

* Thunderstorms - one rolling in as I type

* My sons love of learning. They want to know about everything. Makes my heart shine

* The end of the week long rain coming soon!!!!

* The Nook app on my new iPad. I have been reading so much again. So happy. Any book recommendations?

* Coffee (nothing new <3)

What are you loving?

Does it really take a village?

Within the past year I have had huge change in my life. Not good change, lots of adjustments in our life, lots of tears. Without really getting into much detail, I have had a lot of family "conflict" that has resulted in my family becoming my boys and my husband and my dad. I am from a huge family that has always been close so this is a big, big change for me. Heartbreaking actually. But time has passed and it is becoming our normal.
So that being said, I always have that in my mind...does it really take a village to raise children? I use to think so. I go to my son's schools and I see the aunts and grandmothers bringing and picking the kids up. Grandparents in the food store with their grandchildren. It makes me wonder does every mom have someone?
But I am doing this. I am with my kids all day, every day. My husband works long hours. When he is home he is so good taking them out but I think I feel sad more for my kids. They don't have that big family that I grew up with.
Do you have a support system or do you go it alone?