Within the past year I have had huge change in my life. Not good change, lots of adjustments in our life, lots of tears. Without really getting into much detail, I have had a lot of family "conflict" that has resulted in my family becoming my boys and my husband and my dad. I am from a huge family that has always been close so this is a big, big change for me. Heartbreaking actually. But time has passed and it is becoming our normal.
So that being said, I always have that in my mind...does it really take a village to raise children? I use to think so. I go to my son's schools and I see the aunts and grandmothers bringing and picking the kids up. Grandparents in the food store with their grandchildren. It makes me wonder does every mom have someone?
But I am doing this. I am with my kids all day, every day. My husband works long hours. When he is home he is so good taking them out but I think I feel sad more for my kids. They don't have that big family that I grew up with.
Do you have a support system or do you go it alone?
it sounds like you and your husband give them the best you have. yes, they might miss extended family, but they will treasure the time they have with you too. i'm sorry for the adjustments you've gone thru. i'm certain that was not easy (and still isn't.)
ReplyDeleteHi its me again! The question you pose is an interesting one, and one that I have discussed with friends lately. Let me first say that my answer is coming from the fact that I have much older children (my oldest is heading to HS this fall...ugghh!) and they have developed friendships over the years that has allowed me to develop very close friendships with their mothers, and they are now part of the village I have come to depend on to help me raise my boys (aside from my husband and family). This group of ladies all just happen to have boys themselves, so we all understand each others issues AND we understand the boys, so our boys know that they have these "extended" mothers to go to and we know that we are all looking out for each others boys. Its been a powerful force for me to say the least, and its proven to be more helpful sometimes than our own families.
ReplyDeleteYour village becomes whomever you need it to be! It does not have to be just you, but you will have to lookout for it too. I can only hope that you will find that village through the friendships you and your children will develop together!
I hope that brings you a little bit of hope, and helps you a little in this time of adjustment. Take care!